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lyrics
november second, lit cigarette
you prayed in the bathroom just once to forget
fire in your house, fire in your veins
i lay in his arms, he couldn't explain
what it was that got you feeling like this
why our lives smelled like cheap whiskey and piss
he kissed my shoulder, i wished i was older
the fire kept burning, and your heart got colder
backroads and trailers, guns in the trunk
my body chasing every girl that he fucked
and you never noticed - why didn't you notice?
your grief a cloud 'round the nightmare you showed us
one night you saw us, his hands in my hair
carpet marks on my knees and my mouth open where
it never shoulda been, but i paid for my sin
by knowing you knew and never did nothing
backroads and motels, guns in the trunk
my body bent while he fucked me drunk
and oh god, you noticed - never told him you saw us
your eyes bled on my fingers as i held them open
and don't you know he was the first on my skin?
never allowed me to touch anything but him?
and you were there driving, bottle in hand
summer to winter, i began to understand
he was perfect to you, nothing could change that
the burn down your throats to fill in the cracks
i drank 'till i threw up on my fifteenth birthday
i hated her for dying and making you this way
backroads and churches, decayed and sunken
you paid at the pump while we fucked in the bathroom
got back in the car, you noticed my wet lips
and said nothing, always nothing
but you're gone now and you made us just like this
just like this
credits
released December 2, 2022
written, recorded, and mixed by by josiah kang.
nicole pulls no punches, pushing you into the dirt, forcing you to look at the american underbelly and lick the blood from the dried up clots. it's amazing crosswire
